Comments (124)

1447655 - 30 Sep, 2023 - 07:05PM

Work, kids, parents, friends, life is full already...once a month would be great as long as that time is quality time and not clock watching. If it's always once a month and messaging regularly that's not casual to me, that's fantastic!

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Bobby224 - 30 Sep, 2023 - 06:18PM

I had what I class as a very intimate, close and passionate affair for 10 years with a wonderful woman. We talked every day and met for meals quite regurly but only managed sex once a month or if we were lucky a few times a month but now I learn that’s just a casual relationship? It felt a whole lot more to us. Sometimes if you do really have a connection (that word that everyone uses but don’t seem to understand what it means) you can actually wait for those special moments when they finally come along.

I really hope I’ve not upset a certain female or she may again make very false allegations from a different thread from months ago!

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Enigma.. - 30 Sep, 2023 - 03:22PM

Perhaps I’m the one on the “wrong” site then

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ExoticOrchid - 30 Sep, 2023 - 11:54AM

Personally I don't have a problem with those who put "casual" or "see how it goes" ... to me it just shows they are being upfront about what they are looking for ... if you don't like it, just avoid them. What's the problem? 🤷🏻‍♀️

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1529050 - 30 Sep, 2023 - 11:38AM

Enigma.. - 30 Sep, 2023 - 09:33AM

I probably meet up with my long term lover once a month sometimes slightly sooner. I definitely do not consider it casual though? We talk in between and we’ll sometimes meet for lunch or drink in between what I call our ‘proper meets’.

I would find it hard to meet up more than that but I definitely consider our affair more than casual ?

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Paula99 - 30 Sep, 2023 - 11:30AM

The question …

What are you looking for ?
If that is the first line of communication then it does put me off because it’s clear they don’t know what they are looking for and fishing for ideas..
If you are ‘new’ to the IE game then you do need to get some experience of being on here and grown a ‘thick skin’
Also you do need to be very open minded ..patient and take things lightly…

‘See how it goes’….to me it says that you can ‘choose’ your IE carefully..and take it slowly(even though some will say they are on ‘borrowed time ‘ …

Casual … this creates red flags 🚩

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Enigma.. - 30 Sep, 2023 - 10:45AM

I also think (I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this morning lol) that having…

“See how it goes” is worse than “casual”.

Personally if I see either of the above on a profile it just puts me right off.

Just saying 🤷🏼‍♀️.

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Enigma.. - 30 Sep, 2023 - 09:40AM

Ps…

If anyone, male or female, is on the site looking for love or wants to get out of their marriage 🙄 you are on the wrong site.

Also anyone who is on the site looking for a sugar mommy or daddy!?! Grow up and ship out 👋🏻.

And yes that last comment was directed at a certain male on this site 😏.

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Enigma.. - 30 Sep, 2023 - 09:33AM

Some of the first questions I ask a potential Ie are…

“What exactly are you looking for?”
“How often can they meet up?”
“What times are best for them?”. Eg… day time weekdays?

If it’s just a one off or “casual” once a month!?!

I’ll inform them they are on the wrong site 👋🏻🤷🏼‍♀️.

1408586 - 30 Sep, 2023 - 07:30AM

Everyone has different motivations for an affair, but I have spoken to so many men who said their previous affair partner wanted to leave their husband to be with them (hence it ended). IE they were looking for an exit affair. With the cost of living etc I’m sure these will become more common.

Establishing what both of you are looking for from an affair very early seems the fairest way. And ending things if needed quickly rather than using someone for sex when they obviously want more seems fair. And remembering that if one partner has one foot out of their marriage already they having nothing to lose…

One of the biggest clues to someone looking for an exit affair imho is if they are realistically out of your league… because it’s unlikely they fancy the pants off you!

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