The UK's most established married dating community
For over two decades, we've helped 1.8 million British members find discreet connections on their own terms.
1.8M+
UK members since 2004
22
Years of trusted service
100%
UK-based moderation
24/7
Member support
Discretion was never an afterthought — it's the reason we exist.
Illicit Encounters was founded in 2004 by a small UK team with a single, simple conviction: that people in long-term relationships should have a private, respectful space to explore what might be missing — without judgement, without exposure, and without the disposable culture of mainstream dating apps.
Two decades on, we remain a British company, run from the UK, with British members, British moderators, and a British understanding of what privacy really means. We're not part of a multinational dating conglomerate, and we don't share members with sister sites. What happens on Illicit Encounters stays on Illicit Encounters.
Built for the way real lives actually work
Most dating sites are designed for people starting over. We're designed for people whose lives are already full — with careers, families, and commitments they have no intention of walking away from. Every feature we build, from anonymous messaging to private photo galleries, exists because a member told us they needed it to feel safe.
The team behind the site
Our moderation team works in the UK, in business hours members can recognise. We read every profile before it goes live, and we read every report. We don't outsource trust.
Your safety, guaranteed
Your identity is protected at every step. Our Personal Details Guarantee means nothing on your profile can identify you, your data is encrypted end-to-end, and your privacy is protected at every turn. Find out more here.
Why members choose Illicit Encounters
A quieter, more considered alternative to mainstream dating apps — built around privacy first.
UK-only, manually moderated
Every new profile is reviewed by a human in the UK before it goes live. Bots and scams are filtered out before they reach you, not after.
Anonymous messaging
Talk freely without ever exposing your personal email or phone. Conversations stay on the platform until you decide otherwise.
Private photo galleries
Choose exactly who sees your photos — release them one connection at a time, and revoke access whenever you want.
Real British members
We cover the UK and Ireland — our community is overwhelmingly UK-based and concentrated in major cities across England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. Not a global database with a UK filter applied.
22 years of stability
We've been online since 2004. Most dating sites — especially niche ones — don't last five years. We're built to last.
Britain's longest-running conversation about modern marriage
Illicit Encounters and our resident sex and relationships expert Jessica Leoni are regularly quoted in UK national media on the realities of long-term relationships.
The Times
Cited for research on modern British attitudes to monogamy and long-term commitment.
The Guardian
Featured for honest, data-led commentary on why people in happy relationships still seek connection elsewhere.
BBC
Interviewed across radio and online for in-depth coverage of contemporary relationship dynamics.
What our members actually say
Unedited words from real British members. Read more on our testimonials page.
"After a few false starts I found IE, which turns out to be the best online dating site for married people."
Roger
"It has almost certainly allowed us both to remain happy and married rather than just married."
Michael
"It's definitely saved my marriage. I'd be lost without the lovely guys I've met on here."
Poppy
"Thank goodness for IE. You've given me the tools to enhance my life and I'm having a ball."
Angela
Four commitments we don't compromise on
These aren't marketing slogans — they're the rules our team operates by, every day.
Your privacy is non-negotiable
We will never sell, share, or trade your information. We don't run ads. We don't have a "free with ads" tier that quietly mines your data. Your subscription is the entire business model.
Real humans, not algorithms
Every report and profile is read and approved by a UK moderator. Every support query reaches a UK human within hours, not days.
Quality over scale
We'd rather have 1.8 million genuine UK members than 50 million bot-padded ones. We don't game our numbers and we don't fake activity.
Honest about what we are
We're a married dating site. We don't pretend to be anything else, and we don't try to launder our purpose with vague language. Honesty starts with us.
Ready to find what's missing?
Free to join. Completely discreet. Over 1.8 million UK members.
Join FreeWarning: not everyone is suited to having an affair. They are not an alternative to working on or ending a marriage. Not all affairs have a positive effect on a marriage, some can be very damaging. Always consider other people and if you are going to have an affair, please select your partner wisely.