Comments (127)

Hot I am not - 14 May, 2020 - 05:39PM

If you meet that someone, that special person who unto now has never existed in your life before, then I do not think you can stop yourself from falling in love. And nor should you.

I am also not into one night stands, quite unique for a male on this site I think.

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Thumos - 14 May, 2020 - 03:23PM

I think much of it can be controlled by setting out and agreeing clear ground rules at the outset.

At one end, I have come across a couple of women who I'm pretty sure would happily take a man from his existing relationship (not the purpose of this site!).

At the other end, I know there are folks here who are, shall we say, fully polyamorous, i.e. have multiple lovers in addition to life partner.

Knowing intentions and limitation from the outset does, I think, help keep the 'falling' factor under control.

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Teresa di Vicenzo - 12 May, 2020 - 09:43PM

There is a massive difference between falling in love with your IE and being in lust with them. I have an amazing IE who I’ve been seeing for over a year. We obviously haven’t seen each other since February (pre-lockdown) which frustrates us both, but we both know it’ll be worth it when we finally do get together.
I’m very fond of him (I have to be to do what I’m doing). I’m massively in lust with him. I’m sure I’m not in love with him. Although we’ve been together a year, I don’t think we’ve spent enough time together to form that bond. Maybe it’ll come, maybe it won’t.
I’d say, consider it as a temporary arrangement. It’ll probably end. That way your head stays strong. Obviously you may both run away into the sunset, and if you do, lots of love and luck!

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1294744 - 12 May, 2020 - 09:28PM

I can FEEL deeply for my lover. However, falling in love isn't something I think I can do.
My real love was for my husband who passed away too soon.
I feel (maybe) cynically that no man will ever have me falling for him.
It just doesn't seem possible.
x

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995040 - 12 May, 2020 - 08:45PM

I do become attached to my IEs. I find a mental connection essential for a great physical connection. That said the attachment is purely as an affair which I manage for myself. I once had an amazing IE for a sustained period. He was great at communicating, treated me well, great in bed etc but I also knew that we would never succeed in the real world because he was actually boring . One night away was great but two highlighted the differences between us.

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1382700 - 12 May, 2020 - 03:24PM

Why stop? Most women, in my view, want attention, listening to, laughing with and not to be taken for granted. Get all those things and you will fall. Just need to understand that nothing lasts forever. (Men fall in love too)

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Lillib - 11 May, 2020 - 06:38PM

I’m soft hearted, it’s a tough one but unwise to fall. I will love to have one long term affair if I find the right IE.

1384390 - 11 May, 2020 - 04:03PM

I met my IE 3 times before lockdown
I am so eager to see him again but can’t at the moment. We are both so frustrated about the situation.
I feel like I am falling for him and it’s a great feeling.
He’s just so good. I am so glad I have met him. He has made my lockdown days less depressing.
Just a message from him everyday makes my day so joyful.

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1384231 - 10 May, 2020 - 11:20PM

I think we all want an old fashioned affair. Spend time getting to know someone and then get to know them even better face to face. I was here a while ago and made the mistake of just thinking about her when I really should of texted her to tell her I’m thinking about her!!
Life is complicated and busy enough. I think one new friend is enough. Getting connected is all part of the fun

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DocRob - 10 May, 2020 - 11:15PM

I think we first need to reflect on why we are all on here (or most, some , or a few?). Be honest with ourselves, but let the journey(s) unfold. Wherever it takes you, make sure there’s mutual respect for feelings and the unspoken parts of our lives. If you don’t lose sight of that you can’t go too wrong. I hope x

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