Comments (94)

1494077 - 05 May, 2024 - 11:52PM

It is whether the venting is only from one party or are both individuals equally encouraging of each other’s offloads.

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TJJ89_fun - 05 May, 2024 - 11:30PM

I may be different to everybody else but I honestly wouldn’t mind that at all. A great IE should be an escape from the boring normal everyday life and if she wants to vent to me for a while, then I say go for it! Xx

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1660776 - 05 May, 2024 - 11:20PM

All emotion is energy in motion and fuel for alchemical fires including sexual kung-fu/chi life force.

Unfortunately, unless you're parked at the foot of a mystical monk figure, alchemising emotion is not readily taught.

On that note, dumping emotional baggage, is a turn off in the 'wrong' company. Discernment is key. A 'trusted' support network outside of ie, highly beneficial.

1660660 - 05 May, 2024 - 10:38PM

It’s good to share positivity. Energy vampires are a real thing! Maybe some discussion early doors would help those who don’t want to know too much about the other home life- and be upfront about it?

1447655 - 05 May, 2024 - 10:08PM

Ahh, I know this category - Energy Vampires!

Sharing troubles is part of a long term lover/friends relationships for many I admit to being pretty emphatic and, in the past, very nurturing. Kindness is very easy to take advantage of though. Some people just are a 'conveyor-belt of crisis', theirs is a life of drama (as they see it). Eventually you have to point it out to them that their life is frankly a shambolic joke and they either stop draining you or you walk away.

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GrahamFitz - 05 May, 2024 - 06:56PM

The OP may be describing me. As a relative newbie I'm still figuring out where the different levels are, but once I start to feel comfortable with someone, even over messages, I have the inclination to let my guard down and say what I'm thinking. Right now I'm dialing that back. Not only is it probably unwelcome but it's not good for me to be too emotionally open too early. It seems at first to defeat the whole purpose of what is inherently an escapist activity, but I'm orienting towards more businesslike. I'll probably have to counter correct or end up coming across as closed off and stilted. (Cue comments about black and white thinking, men lacking emotional range etc. Possibly correct in my case, but I'm trying to learn at least.)

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1664170 - 05 May, 2024 - 06:45PM

Unless you have agreed a purely transactional physical relationship, real life is bound to leak through , particularly if you are having a longer term relationship.

I don't mind it, as long as it doesn't dominate our time together .

In my experience of IE relationships my lovers have been my friends also and that being true I want to support them emotionally ( to an extent ....I'm not a therapist after all )

I don't (think) I bring complaints about my life through to relationships . Getting to know each other is interesting and helps the intimate connection to blossom

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1643275 - 05 May, 2024 - 03:31PM

In my experience most potential IEs don't even reply so getting to the stage of emotional baggage is very far away.

NinaOakley - 05 May, 2024 - 02:17PM

I want to know a bit about the man I’m taking to bed and I want him to be interested in me as a person as well as the eager cunt and fabulous tits. That’s where the friend bit of fwb comes in. There is a difference between getting to know someone and being a bore while abdicating all responsibility for one’s life choices.

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ExoticOrchid - 05 May, 2024 - 11:39AM

L&E - 10:53AM/11:53AM

I know what you are saying to a certain degree and yes, I always answer honestly so the "over-questioning" can become tedious ... I also dislike the Q&A format some are prone to ... I prefer to chat and find out rather than ask/answer questions ... I really tune out when someone says "ask me anything" or when someone asks me a list of questions ... 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

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