Comments (94)

1587522 - 11 May, 2024 - 09:57PM

Old Sapper

Thats an amazing thing you did..you could so easily have discarded her, and she clearly needed/wanted those chats or else she would have discarded you... big respect for that

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Old Sapper - 11 May, 2024 - 06:29PM

The only time I've had anything like that I realised the lady I was chatting to was seriously in need of support.
Her husband had been recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and I deliberately kept chatting to her until a couple of months after he'd died.
We never did get to meet, but hopefully, having my shoulder to cry or rant on helped her cope.

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1665613 - 09 May, 2024 - 01:47PM

That’s rubbish mane some people do that but not me, life’s for living and when you meet someone off hear it’s about them and you x

Steelblueyes77 - 07 May, 2024 - 08:36AM

That's so bad. This is not a confessor or a Samaritans site.. It is unreasonable rude and unwanted for someone to dump their problems on anyone else. The idea is to seek a kindred spirit and enjoyed the best things in life not to dump your problems on anyone else .

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1660660 - 07 May, 2024 - 08:34AM

There is clearly a range of acceptable “dumping”, isn’t there?
Some people are happy to have a “second wife” level of dumping, and some people are after a fairy-tale level. I think both of these are correct levels- as long as both people’s expectations are being met, and communicated in advance.

I am a very open person and like to talk- but as I am very positive by nature and not a Whinger I rarely dump. Though Tbf that’s the same at home for me.

It is important that there is a degree of respect for the spouses- it isn’t fair on anyone to be whinging about your spouse all the time. Similar if your job is shit, do something about it. Whingeing to your IE isn’t going to make your job better. If your kids are off the rails, learn and do some parenting. If you haven’t got enough money, improve your prospects.

Now I’ve given you all the answers, you haven’t got an excuse for dumping anymore. Listeners: print this on a yellow card! 🤣

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ExoticOrchid - 06 May, 2024 - 10:21PM

HH76 - 08:32PM

To a certain extent, you are correct.

However, you've got to remember many are here to forget their "real" lives for a while and have a little "me time" and therefore they don't want to be reminded of the mundane stuff.

Granted if the liaison becomes a longer term one, then certain confidences are bound to be exchanged and *both* parties would want to share their innermost thoughts/worries to a certain degree.

All depends on individuals and the kind of relationship they have.

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1661304 - 06 May, 2024 - 08:32PM

Not sure I agree. If you can’t be there to listen to it all, the good and the not so good then you’re just there for the good times and life’s not like that. Get to know someone fully and openly can lead to great times together. Only my view and not for everyone.

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1660660 - 06 May, 2024 - 06:02PM

People who think the world would collapsed are probably miserable because their expectations don’t match up with their (lack of) perspective🤣

No one is irreplaceable.

Communication is a two way process. Unilateral venting should be reserved for the therapy chair. If someone’s daily chat is just whinging then that’s not really on from them. On the other hand it would be nice for an IE to be a confidant to share some of the life difficulties only you two can talk about.

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1494077 - 06 May, 2024 - 10:48AM

Paula99 - 06 May, 2024 - 06:56AM

That sounds very familiar. And then when they’re taking a break, and you maybe try sneaking in a tiny bit of your stash of things to offload (because let’s face it, we all have issues), you’re met with silence or a mere monosyllable.

When comms is a one way street … 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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Paula99 - 06 May, 2024 - 06:56AM

Agree with Pink Eiga…

It’s important to beable to communicate…..having a good/ bad day at work and understanding each others ‘difficulties’ in the work/life balance..I am all for that but when you have some guy droning on about his profession and how the place wouldn’t survive without him…his wife won’t have sex with him..plays 10 different types of sports/hobbies and has God knows what else is going on in his head…🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


Makes a mental note ….LESS IS MORE

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