Comments (223)

1117169 - 02 Oct, 2020 - 02:40PM

@Its all about me

I had to look up "Cognitive dissonance" 😁

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1413266 - 02 Oct, 2020 - 01:52PM

No one ever knows till they try. Just go with the flow. If it feels ok.... then it is and, if not, then it aint. Only you know how you feel and no one can gain say your feelings.

1266637 - 02 Oct, 2020 - 12:31PM

Nail on head Devon pixie , we all know what we mean , sometimes gets lost in translation here , but that’s another hornets nest here 🤣. Iv kicked it a few times

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1399985 - 02 Oct, 2020 - 11:05AM

I agree with ExoticOrchid I'm not sure it's even compartmentalisation, it's just a way of keeping secrets safely. If I met someone through my normal day to day life, at work, a friend of a friend etc they would know people I know, nomatter how discreet you think you are, if you and the person you are having an affair with have mutual friends eventually someone is going to guess and that is a massive risk, the more people who know or even suspect, the more chance there is you will be caught. When you meet someone on IE, and you meet up just the two of you and never meet each other's friends there is less risk.

Perhaps the issue here is the focus on the words "real life" maybe it makes more sense to say IE is safer than meeting someone in day-to-day life.

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1352755 - 02 Oct, 2020 - 11:03AM

@sportster1200L
Blimey..... I had to look those words up 🤣😂

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1117169 - 02 Oct, 2020 - 07:07AM

@discerningfitfun

I don't think its cognitive dissonance but contextualisation and compartmentalisation.

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1117169 - 02 Oct, 2020 - 07:04AM

@ExoticOrchid

I understand what you are saying, in that it is possible to compartmentalise life activities eg work life , home life, and social life and personal life etc. but absolutely everything a person actually does in life as distinct from thinks about doing, is undeniably part of their "Real life".

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ExoticOrchid - 01 Oct, 2020 - 05:28PM

Yes the IE is a real person.
However, an IE is not part of "my" real life as in there will be no coming to my house, meet my children, my friends, etc. Just as I will not be part of "their" real life and never meet their family, friends, etc.

This is not because I'm living in a fantasy or feeling guilty, this is being realistic and knowing the limitations of an IE relationship.

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1266637 - 01 Oct, 2020 - 02:37PM

I get that discerning , but the ie on here is a real person and a hotel meet is part of that real persons life , no right or wrong way of looking at it really , each to their own way of dealing

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discerningfitfun - 01 Oct, 2020 - 02:06PM

@butterfly600

I imagine some deal with perceived expectations of guilt of an affair through compartmentalising it. This means that to some it can seem very different from there every day life. Congnative dissonance is a real psychological phenomenon.

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