Comments (127)

boav91 - 14 Dec, 2023 - 06:56AM

@fluffyClouds

Fair point. My experience of these things are theoretical. They were not things back in the day. I think it is an approach to relationships I am drawn to but my regular partner would not be hence the illicit. I would prefer open partly as I don’t like all the hiding and the games but as has been said on several of these forums, the missing part of the regular relationships draws us here. For me is it’s not about changing my regular life but finding completion. This I found but there is still a lot of skulking around I would prefer not to be there. I think I saw that as more an agreed way so there would not have to be all the hiding, even if there was discretion.

Being still new to this world relatively speaking it continues to be an education I guess

FluffyClouds - 13 Dec, 2023 - 01:43AM

Boav91 -

Being in a consensual non-monogamous relationship does not mean you are a swinger! That's something totally different. There are members on this site who are single, separated, divorced, married and happy, married an unhappy even married and wanting to find a replacement so they can leave their marriage it appears. There are members looking for thirds and yes a few swingers.

There are variations on what is agreed in a consensual non-monogamous relationship/agreement, and yes, even discretion. Why would they go on Tinder for singles and hook ups? Some might. Why would they go on a swingers site, when they're not a swinger? The likelihood is that they want someone who is available and discreet, who doesn't want to date seriously and doesn't want to run off with them or believe they have a future with them. And it certainly doesn't mean you'd be interested in hook ups.

 4 members like this comment.

boav91 - 12 Dec, 2023 - 07:41PM

@fluffyclouds

probably because I always see this site for people trying to hide affairs from their regular partners and if you are in a consensual non monogamous relationship you dont have to hide it.

I guess you could be here ,and some people may well be here and single or in an open relationship, but I think most people are here rather than a swingers site or other forum because they want discreet affairs. I know that is what drew me here not other places. I wanted to meet people who have something to loose as well so would be careful. IF you are open there is not something so much to loose I would have thought but I dont really know.

FluffyClouds - 12 Dec, 2023 - 12:38AM

Boav91 -

Why would you not likely be on this site if you were in a consensual non-monogamous relationship?

 2 members like this comment.

1630438 - 11 Dec, 2023 - 12:36AM

I think its very difficult when you find a connection not to fall
You just need to remember what this site is about or you will drive yourself mad thinking about it

 2 members like this comment.

boav91 - 10 Dec, 2023 - 11:23PM

I dont think we necessarily start wanting to fall in love with a second person as you are having an IE because you want to keep part of what you have at home and replace the missing parts. I guess for most of us, it starts with lust and a connection but how do you stop that developing into more naturally on both sides man and woman? I dont think you can unless either side is not really committed.

I know my IE and I both have strong feeling for each other but we also have feeling for our regular partners. I think it is possible to love more than one person you just cant live with more than one person. Not unless you are in a consensual non-magonomous relationship. If that was the case you would not need to be here.

Both my IE and I know how we feel but we also know that it needs to be careful and as risk free as we can make it so we dont end up with eggs on both our faces or more likely a load of preverbal hitting the fan so to speak. If both people know where they stand then feelings will happen.

 4 members like this comment.

Delicious Chaos - 09 Dec, 2023 - 04:18PM

Champagne stud
Google is your friend, not likely here…fsct

 1 member likes this comment.

Son Of Loki - 09 Dec, 2023 - 11:10AM

Did du, did du, did du, did du, did du, did du, did du did du

What is love

Haddaway. What a positive track

 1 member likes this comment.

TheBoredHousewife - 08 Dec, 2023 - 06:44PM

Paula99 - 08 Dec, 2023 - 12:22PM

💯 with you there

Paula99 - 08 Dec, 2023 - 12:22PM

I suppose it depend on what you want to be attached to …

The bed

The kitchen sink

The walls

The ceiling …..😂😂😂😂

And now to answer the question…it’s nigh on impossible not to get attached to your IE especially if the length of time you met has lapsed into years..
You do become fond of them and you tend to rely on them ‘always being there’….so maybe we are a ‘little in love ‘…..BUT
You cannot let your heart rule your head…after seeing your IE and feeling high and fuzzy then …‘home is where you need to be’ …works both ways ..
If you can separate these 2 parts of your life then you can enjoy the emotions and in turn have a great relationship..

 5 members like this comment.