Comments (104)

1622807 - 27 Oct, 2023 - 01:58PM

I think my connections are based upon how much someone is a reflection of experiences and people I'm accustomed to... to varying degrees that is.

Some people that connection is instant. For example I had a rough childhood so instantly will feel a bond with people who've had similar.

Other times is may be a similar outlook on life, maybe political leaning etc. It maybe that we are very different overall but have maybe a couple of areas where we gel.

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Life is a beach - 27 Oct, 2023 - 01:12PM

Yes, you can have a connection before you meet.
You get a feel of what the person is going to be like. You can quickly work out if you would like to meet them or not after a few messages or calls.
Meeting the person is the next step, you can then truly work if there is that spark and connection between the two of you.

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1494077 - 27 Oct, 2023 - 12:27PM

It’s definitely possibly to feel a connection with someone online. From the way they respond to you, the way the conversation flows effortlessly both on and off platform. Their behaviour when we start discussing about meeting up. I don’t do quick meets, and when I do finally say yes, it is often just a tick box exercise to go to the next level. It doesn’t always work out that way of course - the face to face meet is ultimately the deciding factor.

One thing I have to say though, is that an ongoing conversation itself does not equate to a connection that warrants an IE partnership. Platonic connections also exist 😊

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1575033 - 27 Oct, 2023 - 12:03PM

In my experience the chatting is almost irrelevant, the less is more , say the right thing
is meaningless.
Yes exchange the basics, attitude, geography, practicalities, intellect, use of spell checker,
status, relationship sought, could almost be a tick list, its meeting that is the chemistry check and in 5 minutes a lot more, being ability to meet, wishing to meet, a real person,, warmth,, nut case or not, and if not agreed to meet again, agree not to straight away.
Here endeth

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1408586 - 27 Oct, 2023 - 12:02PM

Well for me yes. We’re all different!

I’m only interested in a lover who I find very attractive. I think sometimes if too much virtual connection has been built up then it can be tempting to overlook attraction.

Others who are less shallow (!) than me may feel differently

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1104299 - 27 Oct, 2023 - 11:40AM

@beckysharp

Is there such a thing as too much of a connection?! Surely the connection goes towards the whole chemistry piece?

1408586 - 27 Oct, 2023 - 11:34AM

I wouldn’t want to make too much of a connection before meeting… need to be detached enough still that if there’s no chemistry I can easily walk away!

1104299 - 27 Oct, 2023 - 11:31AM

For me if messages flow really easy and the conversation doesn’t become stilted it’s generally a good sign at first, then phone conversations, if you find yourself wondering where the time went after ending the call this is another tick in the box, it’s definitely possible to develop a connection way before the actual meet up! I wouldn’t meet without the ‘connection’!

1408586 - 27 Oct, 2023 - 11:24AM

Try reactivating your profile somethingnew. I think a hidden profile generally means we have found someone? A lot of women who are looking for a lover wouldn’t want to waste too much time talking to someone who already has one!

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somethingnew19780 - 27 Oct, 2023 - 10:55AM

connections can be formed initially online. you can get a feel of it fairly quickly.

I seem to keep coming across women, where I'm doing the questioning and get single word answers back. And i need to ask the next question and so on. Is it really hard to enhance the answer and maybe say, "what about you"

Someone who does show interest back, that is where the connection starts to happen.

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