Comments (107)

LadyDe - 06 Apr, 2025 - 07:25PM

@cherrypie77

Omg !!! I couldn’t say it better .. I’m fresh (6 wks) out of the best connection sexually I’ve had in here, for the past 14mths … I’ve tried to get back on the horse 🤭 but like you need different but equally still needing the basics .. so so hard, I’ve had a LOT of interest, but maybe over time I’ll stop comparing and take each IE as they are … but women have gut instinct and it’s never let me down yet !!

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1768211 - 06 Apr, 2025 - 04:01PM

Yes it does become easier to whittle out and narrow your search so too speak! However the longer an affair goes on the harder it can be to keep it fresh and fun, also it’s easy to become blasé after a time! Trust is the biggest issue for most as none of us wants to hurt partners or loved ones!

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Funguy77 - 06 Apr, 2025 - 03:16PM

Or in short yes

cherrypie77 - 05 Apr, 2025 - 09:38AM

When you have had a long term really fulfilling affair it becomes harder for you here.

I feel my expectations are too high since returning and im probably yearning for that experience again....the same but different.

I have to keep telling myself that my affair started off as casual with no pressures so just be easy on oneself and the guys coming to talk to me, take a chance and see where it takes me.

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Funguy77 - 05 Apr, 2025 - 09:28AM

Oh, aye! Nothing ever gets easier, that’s for sure. It’s like trying to carry a suitcase that just keeps getting heavier, and no matter how many zips you undo, there’s always more bloody stuff inside. I mean, life’s like a Netflix show you can’t skip the intro on. You've got the affair, the friends, the exploring your sexuality... It’s like a buffet where you’re too full but keep stuffing your face 'cause you don’t want to miss out on the next course!

But let’s be honest, after a decade of all that excitement, what you’ve really got is a load of emotional baggage that’s just too big for the overhead compartment! And as for thinking the grass is greener... it's not, it’s just a patch of weeds you've been ignoring ‘cause you’ve been too busy chasing after the next shiny thing!

So, aye, sometimes you’ve just got to stop, take a breath, and say, “Well, maybe I’ll just stick to the old garden where at least I know where the dog buried the bones.

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SirrahNek - 05 Apr, 2025 - 09:20AM

Gyproc - "scrabble around, sending out messages left, right and centre in the hope someone might just reply before our subscription ends"
It can feel like that. But take what you can, cultivate the connections you do make - whether or not they "lead anywhere". And try to see it from the other side - imagine that you were inundated with messages. Some will be from decent people, some from absolute rotters, some from people who are tragically desperate, some who you just don't fancy. I'm imagining a mountain of chaff that needs to be searched through. Then, if you choose incorrectly, you end up on a date with a potential stalker - or someone who makes you feel really uncomfortable. I'm not sure which is preferable. Too little attention, or too much of the wrong sort.

SirrahNek - 05 Apr, 2025 - 09:14AM

Paula99 - "The grass isn’t greener its just a bunch of weeds"
Oof! That's a bit dark for a Saturday morning! I do think it depends on how you tend the garden. Sometimes you might want a bit more garden, sometimes you might have made a bit of a mess of the bit you already have - and you're going to have to put some leg work in to make it right again. But devote time to it, and you'll have a lovely lawn. Maybe even two lawns. Surrounded by roses. Maybe a vegetable patch. Oh, and a trampoline in the middle. But I think I might have taken the analogy too far…

Paula99 - 05 Apr, 2025 - 09:06AM

To answer the question…..No nothing ever gets easier 🫤

IE is just an extension of life …but much more complicated as we move forward…we have gained experience and evolved but do we really want all the drama/baggage that comes with it … after a decade of having an affair…making some great friends/exploring our sexuality/funfilled times…can we really continue?..IE has a shelf life and sometime or other we have to bite the bullet and defer to our previous lives …The grass isn’t greener its just a bunch of weeds… 🙄

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Gyproc - 05 Apr, 2025 - 08:29AM

Whilst all us guys scrabble around, sending out messages left, right and centre in the hope someone might just reply before our subscription ends, then, no, it doesn't get any easier.
I have never been anything but polite and respectful and will always say "if not for you, thats OK" but then you are ignored and ghosted but even worse.. blocked..like a stab in the heart for no reason. Please ladies, don't do it without good reason.

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PoundCakeRecipe - 28 Feb, 2025 - 09:22PM

Everyone's journey is different. Extramarital relationship success is stochastic in nature, very difficult to predict and highly dependant on both parties needs on a case by case basis.

Some longer term affairs can be either deeply passionate where the lines between lust and love become blurred... or some simply become deep freindships. In addition, shorter term affairs can be mind blowing or very regrettable... that is part of the adventure.

To be more direct with your initial question. No.

The frequency won't change too much for most nor will the relational entropy as this is not in your control.

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